thougts

part of growing into artistry is training self on where and when ideas come and how to record them. apparently the shower is a good thought-factory. probably because i'm not trying then. the trouble with that is the water--makes it difficult to transcribe onto paper and even harder to document digitally. so...i think blogging is a good form. it's somewhat official and at least i won't misplace it.

so on to today's thoughts:
1. eliminate the film i need to set realistic goals. at this point i have 2 month [11weeks] to get this show together. as much as i am a firm believer in multi/cross/inter-disciplinary working and thinking, i also firmly believe in quality. and if this show had to be smaller but tighter and better, then so be it. films will be made later.
2. create deadlines part of my goals for today is to create [yet another] schedule for this thesis. this one will clearly outline what need to be done and what dates it should be completed by. i think this will help me slowly knock off more things, and overall get the job done
3. create a map to the actual exhibition. it will be a means of planning for myself but also a mode of communication to the viewer. it's an idea i've played with for a while--in fact this time last year i was working on the iPod idea [which turned into a video] . the original idea to create a visual map of the history and concerns that revolve around electronic devices attached to humans, especially in the sense of analog and digital music. anyway, the map never came to fruition. i started thinking about how i wanted some 'go along' to the exhibition--which i began calling a pamphlet, and then today i realized if i mapped the exhibition i could include descriptions of the photographs used, possible methods i've used [which really is an essential part of how i work, the how part], and then the meaning of the connections i've made between these things. if i do it, it will require some planning, especially as to location of objects within the space, but i also feel like the time that will be needed to make this map will force me to decide. [one of my biggest problems], as i will need to have it to a printer in time. i like the idea that this object would live on after the show as well, but it will be somewhat cheaply done, and i would be able to give it away free. [i like that idea]

well the sun is shining--a rare occasion, and today has a high of 50 degrees--another rare occasion, so i think i will take a walk over to 203 milburn and get_to_work.

monday

today is a day i seriously feel like 'throwing in the towel' whatever that means. it's just not working out; not flowing; not happening. and it feels like it's been this way for a week or longer. i am very jumbled in my head. i'm starting to see the need for me to do two things, right away: 1. narrow it down 2. set goals. this is nothing new to myself but it just seems that the ideas will keep rolling and rolling and never really substantiate. and i don't have time for that.

having an installation and film is great idea but i think it might be too much/more than i can feasible and successfully do. i'm thinking of eliminating the film aspect. as much as i really enjoy working with film and the camera i am starting to feel like it is a different project and my commitment to making images, paper, and space is starting to feel like a stronger pull.

one good thing is i feel fairly confident in what the imagery is. i have that already. as far as how it is displayed and which images will be transferred to the walls, which will be transferred to paper/cloth hanging from the walls and which will be made into photographs. i feel slightly stressed out by the space right now because mike has so much stuff in there and i am uncertain as to where his things will end up. the space determines how the work will look. and on the other hand, it is much about reacting to what is there as to making for the space.

i definitely want piles of things. one idea is to take a pillar i made and stack wrinkled papers on top of it and then as it gets very high i will put a piece of fishing line through the center of it and attach it to the ceiling--creating a very, very tall pile of papers. to me this is symbolic of the process of working, mess making, and reminiscent of the victims of the holocaust.

i'm frustrated right now with the holidays being here--i'm not interested in them--i feel like i don't have time for them, and yet it is the very idea of what i'm working on that relates to this. that people are the most important things. so let's see if i can live up to my own theories.

other frustrations are in my working methods--and play between printers and software and programs and chemical reactions--things that take time to learn, mistakes to build confidence and time, time, time.

i'll keep working...

mid-december

i had a random little encounter with keith johnson yesterday in the student gallery. [in truth, i had made my back to the back building in the midst of my afterimage work-day, because rumor had spread in the front building of pizza. feeling a little guilty at only taking, i looked at all the student work first, and was not left hungry--the work was good--in spite of the pizza being gone. my one-minute meeting with keith was well-worth the lack of lunch]

he asked how my thesis was going. i gave him a beefier answer than i usually give most people. as i knew he is a photographer, i launched into the technical side of what i'm doing, which is: "well i'm drawing on the walls, from projected negatives, then filming it with a 16mm moving image film, 35mm still film and doing test shots with my digital still camera. it sort of becomes a cycle of translations of images". Keith's response to me was two fold: 1) "check out this guy's work--joe fig at the bernard toale gallery--he creates these minature replica's of artists' studios and then photographs them" 2) "make sure this work isn't becoming for only a select few--namely the educated art world and/or only for yourself, otherwise it simply becomes masturbatory"

i also was able to get ahold of my 'statement of objectives' that accompanied my packet to graduate school here at VSW. [the original file was lost when my computer died a year ago, so getting this piece of paper was a finding a lost treasure.] among many ideas i proposed--3 years later, and with a mind expanded and exposed--almost all of them still ring true to what i am attempting to accomplish with my thesis work.

i'll write more of my conversation with jesse over dinner tonight [a reminder to self: breaking it down]

day eleven

ORIGINALLY POSTED: 11 November, 2006 at 3:19 PM
i've had the studio space for 10 days. one thing i'm really bad at is realizing how far i've come; i always push forward, want to work harder, get more done. it's easy for me to forget to reflect. so that is what i'm doing now. in a little over a weeks time, i've:

• move loads and loads of art supplies, paper, objects into the new space
• set up an office/cleaned a bit
• met my new neighbors [a potter]
• set myself up for working [space heater, long underwear]
• established a small system for writing in a sketchbook everytime i work
• transfered super 8 film to digital video
• shot some preliminary images of the environment

my intent is to keep this blog as a mean of constant evaulation and communication, but keep my journal/sketchbook in the studio as well to record thoughts as the creative process is unfolding. getting the film transfered was a huge step; my art is as much about the final product as it is about the tinkering with 30-year-old equipment and a nearly outdated film stock as anything. i love the play between the old and the new and working a super8 projector and a miniDV camera embodied that feeling. i guess all this creative and technological play really empowers me. i am glued to the past, driven by history, charmed by what is no longer and equally interested in the new, the hot, the current/future. it's somehow backwards working or working backwards. maybe its circular thinking, as cburnett stated.
either way, as soon as i saw the projected b/w film [even in its upside down_backwards_reversed imagery] my heart stops_____________there is something, something about film i can't explain, but it
moves me

keys!

ORIGINALLY POSTED: 01 November, 2006 at 10:54 PM

i am reminded that i often get what i want, but just as often i want what i get.
i picked up the keys to my new studio space tonight. right on track--one november two thousand and six. i can understand color, and thankfully mike based the order of door-opening in a color coded fashion. green, red, blue. green, red, blue.
you know how somtimes things too good to be true? well, this studio is a 30 second drive/2 block walk from my apartment. it has a spray booth--a room that is fully equipped with ventilation, heat, electricty,and running water, but most importantly a landlord that is a creative person, and the company surrounding the studio space is filled with a potter, a metalsmith, a woodworker and antique collectors.
the surrounding environment, in terms of a space to be creative in, is critical. it is fostering this environment for myself, and in the future [in terms of thinking about teaching] that i often think about.
there are a few red flags, i won't deny that. working with another artist--while mike is a very open and creative person, he also is a creative person, and creative people often see the world through their artistic filter. it is this working together, collaboration-of sorts, finding acceptable solutions while mainting my own vision and simultaneously remembering that people are always, always more important than things--any thing(s)--and especially my own artistic "babies" who i foster, and foster, and fondle, and rework, and rethink and redo.
i'm quite excited to move my things and am preparing for the possible let-down/anxiety that may fill me as i stare at my newly aquired blank canvas.

first meetings

ORIGINALLY POSTED: 26 October, 2006 at 8:39 AM
brockport, new york_18 OCT 06_alisia_10AM
we went to the coffee place--THE coffee place, full of coffee with flava, and delicious carrot cake. we talked about art, but mostly about life, which is art, which is what life come from, which is what art comes from. she said i am lucky to make art. i agree.
alisia wanted to see the space, told me to quit reading books and get working, wanted to see something...i told her i'd 'abuse her'. i think our relationship will be a good one for both of us--i value her honesty, independence, and womanhood.
alisia suggested:

• william kentridge
• franchesca woodman
• gutai group/fluxus
• y fu tuan
• sigmar polke

she gave me a dvd of william kentridge's work

rochester, new york_25 OCT 06_cburnett_2PM
some books/sources he said:

• GH Gombreck, 'Norm + Form"
• Felix, John Canemaker
• Before Mickey, Donald Crafton
• Hollywood Flatlads, Esther Leslie
• Emile Cohl, Donald Crafton
• Jeff Batcheon
• William Kentridge
• Bob Sebastian

we discussed:

• my new space to work in.
• chris raised concerns about
  how does the work get out of the space/to the public
  themes?

we talked through these ideas:

• walls as depth, a complex surface
• animation--the ideas of post-synching, 'rotoscoping', stop animation vs. key frame animation vs. 'straight' animation ["mickey mousing"]
• inventing my own medium--between film, drawing, photo--using all the things i need
• erasure: recording 'the thing' and recording it in reverse
• method: post-thematic

chris suggested:
that i do a 'reality test'--complete the method full circle--draw, film, photograph--to do a test, to have something to show